Kyle Kissell
Class: 2008
Hometown: Huntingdon, PA
Major(s): Religion
Favorite Movie(s): Oscar
Favorite Music: Four Postmen
Favorite Book(s): Volssunga Saga
AOL Screen Name: Therantheril
Other Clubs or organizations: none
How long have you been a member: no so long
Biography: At age eight, I had no friends. At 11, I discovered I was moderately intelligent but
was subsequently made aware that this is a disadvantage within the public school system. At 14 someone told me I smelled. 15: Took
a shower. 17: took drivers test 5 times. Finally passed by narrating my internal monologues during exam. 18: Coming into my manhood,
I graduated high school, went to the Maine wilderness with a dwarf, fell off cliff, got ambushed by scantily clad French girl scouts,
and promptly fell in a river, after which I was unable to walk for some time. Found new appreciation for tourists who enjoy wandering
around remote wooded areas. Given the hard-earned name Calamity. 19: Went back to Appalachian Trail, this time avoiding serious
injury. Decided it would be a good idea to start wearing a bathrobe. Went to Lyco. Made ramen. With special ingredients. 20: Decided
to aspire towards fake job so as to avoid much actual work. Failing that, make career as well educated hobo. Given the name Scarecrow
at truck stop at 3 a.m. Noticed that I had somehow managed to go a full two decades without a girlfriend. Took another shower.
Last Updated: 10-02-05 Updated by: Robert Knapp